Interference or Intervention — Learning to Be Still in the Boat

 

“The Lord will fight for you, and you shall hold your peace.”
— Exodus 14:14 (NKJV)

A word that stopped me in my tracks

I remember hearing these words within my spirit as clearly as if they were spoken aloud:

David, consider the difference between interference and intervention. The term ‘interference’ generally refers to an action or process that hinders or obstructs another action or process. Without My guidance, you will interfere, whereas I will intervene. Although I may intervene unilaterally, I do intervene as a result of a petition or prayer. I usually let things play out according to the choices and will of individuals and I intervene when asked to. How I intervene involves many factors and will not usually be the way you would expect because you have a narrow view of the situation. Think about how you wish Me to intervene and then watch to see how I do what you ask. Be careful not to assume I will answer in a way or at a time you demand because it will stop you from seeing what I do.”

Those words have stayed with me. They marked a turning point in how I respond to the storms that rise in my marriage — and perhaps, more broadly, in how I see my role as a husband.

The boat and the storm

When I picture the boat these days, I don’t see “life” in general.

I see Linda and me.

When I see the storm, I don’t imagine external troubles — not grief, not finances, not even the many losses we’ve carried together.

I see Linda upset or angry at me.

And perhaps, for many husbands, that’s the real storm.
It’s not what’s happening around us, but what’s happening between us.
It’s the tension that rises when love meets misunderstanding, when fear meets fear, when one heart feels unseen and the other feels unheard.
Over the years, I’ve realised something humbling:
When I react to the storm, I interfere.
When I wait on God in the storm, I give Him room to intervene.

The danger of interference

When I interfere, I act from anxiety — I try to fix, justify, or defend.
It feels active and loving in the moment, but it almost always gets in God’s way.
My words come out too quickly. My tone carries too much heat.
And somewhere in that reaction, I stop listening to Linda and start listening to my own fears.
That’s what the Lord was teaching me — that my efforts to “calm the storm” can actually stir the water further.

Interference is the reflex of fear dressed up as control.
Intervention, by contrast, is the fruit of faith working through peace.

Learning to hold peace

It takes courage to be still when the emotional wind rises.
Stillness isn’t inaction — it’s trust in motion.
It means breathing before speaking.
It means choosing to pray before reacting.
It means believing that Christ is already awake in the boat, even when He seems to be sleeping.
That’s where the phrase “The Lord will fight for you, and you shall hold your peace” became real to me.
It doesn’t mean I abandon my role as a husband.
It means I learn the rhythm of grace — when to act, when to wait, and when to simply listen to Jesus’ breath before doing anything at all.

The calm before the calm

There’s always a moment before peace — a moment where I have to surrender my need to be right, or understood, or justified.
That’s where interference ends and intervention begins.
God never rushes to prove me right. He intervenes to make us both whole.
I used to think headship meant taking charge in the storm.
Now I think it means trusting first, listening first, and staying still long enough to let God steer.

“Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you.”
— John 14:27 (NKJV)