Being Understood — Seeing from the Other Side

 

“Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.”

— Philippians 2:4 (NKJV)

My supervisor and friend once told me a story that’s stayed with me.

A man was standing on a riverbank when someone on the opposite side called out,

“Can you tell me how to get to the other side?”

The man smiled and replied, “You are on the other side.”

I’ve often thought about that story, and how it captures the difference between seeing and understanding. From where each man stood, the other side meant something completely different. Both were right — and both were wrong — depending on where they were standing.

It’s such a simple story, yet it speaks to the heart of empathy. We can hear the same words, see the same scene, even share the same storm, yet still feel worlds apart if we’re each looking from our own side.

When I think about it in the context of the boat, I imagine a couple sitting at opposite ends. The waves rise, the wind changes, and each one rows harder in their own direction, believing they’re moving toward calm. But from where they sit, the other seems to be rowing against them. Neither realises they’re turning the boat in circles.

In moments like that, I imagine Jesus sitting quietly between them. He doesn’t take sides. He doesn’t even tell them who is right. Instead, He gently turns their faces toward one another and says, “You’re already in the same boat — just try seeing from where they sit.”

Understanding often begins there — not with the words we say, but with the perspective we’re willing to see from. Sometimes the greatest act of love is to pause rowing, look across the boat, and realise that what feels like opposition might simply be the other side of the same experience.

The more I reflect on this, the more I see that being understood and understanding are not two separate shores we must cross between, but one continuous flow of grace where Christ meets us in the middle. The river that divides is the same water that carries both sides, and His presence stills it.

“For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then face to face.”

— 1 Corinthians 13:12 (NKJV)