Hebrews 12:2 (NKJV)
I was thinking this morning about what it means to be a well-balanced adult, the kind of person who stands steady in life and becomes a safe example for a child. It is easy to make a list of qualities we imagine we need: composure, wisdom, patience, consistency. But the older I become, the more I recognise that none of these qualities grow naturally in me. They slip through my fingers when I try to hold them by myself, and they fade when I focus on performing them rather than living honestly before God.
While I was reflecting on this, I had Christian country music playing in the background. A song came on, “Watching You” by Rodney Atkins, and it caught my attention in a way I did not expect. The song tells a simple story of a father realising that his little boy copies everything he does. The child was learning not from instruction but from observation. He became shaped by what he saw. And in that moment, I felt the Lord speak into my own thoughts with a clarity that settled everything I had been wrestling with.
A child becomes steady when the adult they are watching is steady. And an adult becomes steady when the One they are watching is Jesus. It was as simple and as direct as that. Suddenly so many threads from this past month came together: the desire to be a safe presence for the grandchildren, the reflections about generational influence, the longing to help adults care for their children in a way that honours God, and the quiet prayer to be more grounded, more balanced, more whole.
The answer had nothing to do with perfecting myself. It was not about tightening my self-control or trying to hold myself together. And it certainly was not about presenting myself as an unshakable father figure. The real answer was where I fix my eyes. If I watch myself, a child ends up watching instability. If I watch my worries, a child learns fear. If I watch my frustration, a child feels the weight of it. But if I watch Jesus, something in me settles. My steps slow. My reactions soften. My balance returns. And a child watching me begins to learn not just from my behaviour but from my direction. They see where my eyes are looking, and their gaze begins to turn the same way.
This is one of the quiet miracles of discipleship. We watch Him, and the next generation watches us, and somehow they learn to watch Him too. It is not complicated. It is not heavy. It is not another pressure to carry. It is simply the daily choice to look toward the One whose balance never falters and whose steadiness becomes our own. When I follow Him, the children who follow me find their footing on firmer ground.
I am not sure yet how this insight will unfold in my wider reflections on parenting, children, and the generations to come. It may become another thread woven through the themes God has been giving me recently. But for now, it is enough to hold this simple truth. A child becomes balanced by watching an adult. And an adult becomes balanced by watching Jesus. Sometimes the clearest guidance comes in the simplest way, and sometimes it arrives through a country song reminding us that little eyes are always noticing where we look.
“Be imitators of me, just as I also am of Christ.”
1 Corinthians 11:1 (NKJV)
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